Offscreen Chemistry
by Angel-Hunteress
Summary: An interesting conversation between Peter and Claire as they watch a TV show that is very smiliar to their lives...PAIRE one-shot. Crack!fic.


**Blatantly Obvious**

This is something that came up as I was doing my other Heroes fanfic, 'What Is And What Should Never Be.' It's a small distraction, and hopefully it'll turn out good.

Also, it is my first Paire fic. That is so my new OTP.

And fyi, this is meant to be hilariously stupid. Or...the other way around is better, probably. Don't take this seriously; this is what an insomniac writes at 2:00.

* * *

Claire propped her feet on the coffee table in the living room, looking at the clock anxiously. 8:34.

Footsteps coming from the hallway of the apartment caused her to look up, and she saw her newly discovered uncle Peter walking into the living room, his arms full of unhealthy-yet-oh-so-declious snacks. He gave his trademark crooked-smile at her as he sat on the couch on the seat next to her, placing the fattening items on the table.

In front of them, the TV went to a commercial.

"What'd I miss?" he asked, smiling as she snuggled into his side.

She finally tore her eyes off the TV, looking at him. "Matt was interrogating my dad about homecoming, but he couldn't read his mind for some reason. The Haitian was there, outside the room. And Jessica-slash-Nikki was running in the woods, Nikki trying to talk Jessica out of shooting DL."

Two years ago, after the Pinehearst was taken down and the world mostly saved, it was Nathan's idea that there should be some way to keep people's abilities under wraps. After running into a person who could clone other people, the idea was set: create a TV show that mirrored their lives in every way with actors who looked _exactly _like them (with no memories of who they really were or that they were even created, thanks to the Haitian) to discredit those who tried to prove that all of this was real.

To say the least, _Heroes_, as it was called, became very popular throughout the world (and, of course, the original 'Heroes') quickly. It had become Claire's and Peter's favorite show, and the two would watch it religiously every Monday, right after Chuck.

Peter's hand found hers, playing with her fingers. She smiled, resting her head against his chest.

Claire had moved into Peter's apartment a few months after Pinehearst was taken down. For the sake of protection, her father had had her mother and Lyle's memories of her wiped, and she could no longer live with her adoptive family. And, of course, since Nathan still had his election to think of, he could not take in his illegitimate daughter, though Heidi and the boys knew her. Which left only two other options, and one of them was a rehabilitated serial killer, who Claire was still coming to terms with as her uncle.

Which led to the more...awkward option.

Ever since Homecoming, Claire had always thought about Peter. Sure, at first it was nothing more than just a 'hero crush' but as time developed, it had become more. And then her world shattered, because he was her..._uncle_, too.

But for the past two years, the two had become closer than ever. Claire knew that she could never have anything with Peter, since she knew he would never see her as anything but a niece, but she was okay as having him as a best friend.

"That guy is really something," Peter commented as the commercials ended and the show began. "I'll bet he works out."

Claire rolled her eyes. "God, Peter. You say that _every _time Milo Ventimiglia comes on."

"And you pronounce the 'g' _every _time you say his name," Peter retorted, smiling. "I picked it out, you know. Have some respect."

"Well, you can't pronounce Hayden's last name," Claire shot back. "I picked hers, too. It's not 'Pan-a-tear-ie, you know."

_"You're okay," said the fake Peter on the TV._

_"Thanks to you," replied the fake-Claire, smiling at him._

_"Mr. Petrelli, I'm Claire's father," Noah Bennet introduced himself._

"It's still hard to imagine that Sylar's the good guy now," Claire mused as she played with Peter's fingers. "I mean after seeing all he's done...again."

"He's Gabriel now, Claire," Peter somewhat scolded. "He's your uncle now. Family....but yeah, it's going to take a long time to get over it all."

_"Is that why...you asked me if I was the one?" asked the Claire on TV, after her dad left._

_"No, I just--I knew I had to save you," Peter replied._

_"Why?"_ _Claire asked._

_"To save the world."_

_"What do I have to do with the world?" Claire asked._

At this, the real Claire felt Peter shift under her on the couch. This was an awkward scene; Milo and Hayden were _way _too good. She had heard the rumors going on about them--that they were dating in real life.

How she wished that she and Peter could really be characters, and that they could _really _date without having to be worried about being related.

But wait a minute...if their counterparts were dating and they were biologically _them_, did that mean...?

"Want something?" Peter asked her, gesturing to the pile of snacks on the table.

She could tell him what she _really _wanted, but that might just lead somewhere...awkward.

"I'm okay, Peter," she told him instead. "Thanks."

_"You're totally my hero," Claire said as she got up, looking at Peter as if he were a god._

_He smiled back at her, watching as she left._

Claire looked up, seeing Peter smiling at the TV. These were great moments, before they knew they were related to each other, right after Peter saved her from Sylar...

She decided to throw out some bait.

"You know," she began. "People totally miscontrued these two. It was written like there would be a connection like between family, but the chemistry between Milo and Hayden was too obvious. You know they're dating, now."

He took the bait. "Are they?" He chuckled, nervously, looking down at her. "You know, neither of them know it, but since they _are _our clones, they are technically related."

Damn. He had her. "Regardless, I think they make a great pair...I wonder if it'll happen on the show?"

He wore an odd expression, his eyes turning playful yet with an undertone of seriousness to them. "You want Peter and Claire to get together?"

She leaned forward, and felt his breath hitch and his heart start beating irregularly. She knew now how he felt. Still...whatever happened, she wanted him to initiate it. He leaned forward slightly, until their faces were inches away.

When he made no more movement, she pulled away. "Actually, I think I prefer Claire and Milo--"

She was cut off by Peter's lips crashing against hers. She smiled into his kiss, wrapping her hands around his neck, and he buried his hands into her hair. He ran his tongue over her bottom lip and she granted him access, opening her mouth as their tongues met and battled for dominance. She turned around on his lap, straddling him on the sofa.

They stopped to come up for air. Even immortals needed oxygen, too.

"Wanna record the episode?" Claire asked, panting.

Peter nodded. "I think we have better things to do right now."

Claire kissed him again, this time more forcefully and more passionately, leaning over him with her knees on either side, resting on the sofa cushion. He rolled over and they tumbled onto the length of the couch, him pinning her down without breaking the kiss.

He began making his way down, kissing down her neck softly, then coming back up again, working his way around her ear and back to her lips.

They broke apart, staring at each other, a smile on their faces. "Just so you know, Peter, I meant what I said. You are _totally _my hero...and, just so you know...you know."

"I know...me too."

They smiled at each other. "You know something? Milo and Hayden have nothing on us."

"Totally."

"So...about you thinking Milo's good-looking..."

"I'm not going to have a three-some with my clone, Claire. Plus, we'd have to tell him the truth about us and that kinda defeats the purpose."

"But the Haitian could make him forget...wait, are you actually considering this?"

"Claire!"

"Nevermind."

They resumed their kissing, finally in a comfortable enough place where it could go...uh, further.

Claire unbuttoned Peter's shirt, and stopped and stared at his revealed chest.

Until, that is, a voice inturrupted them.

_"Got it out of your system now?" _

Nathan's voice seemed to echo around the room, catching them both off-guard.

Claire and Peter looked up, alarmed, until they heard Peter's voice.

_"I finally get it now, Nathan," he replied on the TV. "I get these dreams--"_

The two laughed nervously, relieved. "That would've been awkward," Peter laughed, and leaned forward to resume kissing her.

Her eyes widened. "Oh, my God, Nathan!"

"Relax, Claire, he's not here," Peter assured her, as he began kissing her neck. "Good thing, too, because if he were to walk in--"

"No, Peter, I mean, Nathan!" she pushed him off by the shoulders, and pointed behind him.

There, standing at the front door was Nathan, her bio-dad, and Gabriel/Sylar, her bio-uncle.

She so hoped this wouldn't end up being on the next episode of _Heroes._

Of course, with all the other random plot twists, she really wouldn't put it past the writers.

"Oh, sh--"

HERPES

--I mean--

HEROES.

* * *

Okay. I know it was reeeeaaalllllyyyy bad. But hey, what can you expect at 2:00am??

Anyway. Please review, even it's just to say how lame my humor is.


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